


Won't Turn Back

by LugianBeforeSwine



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, POV second person nezumi, pointless drabble-y thing, written in jan 2013
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 00:19:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LugianBeforeSwine/pseuds/LugianBeforeSwine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You will never understand him, not with quantified data or attractive turns of phrase or anything else. But maybe you don't need to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Turn Back

The room is dark and quiet, but for some reason, you can't fall asleep, even though you've been lying in bed for the past hour. The boy next to you does not share your problem; he was out completely no more than a minute after he climbed into bed. He worked at Inukashi's for longer than usual today, and went to the market by himself, and cooked dinner for both of you; you assume he must have been exhausted and that this is why he had no problem falling asleep.

A sudden and unexpected twinge of guilt hits you at the same moment as a tiny flame of anger, and the conflicting emotions chase each other around inside your head, making you dizzy. You didn't go to work today, or even go outside at all, and at the time you had justified this with a mumble of "It's my day off" or something of the like, but nevertheless, this is the reason for your guilt. The anger is there because it seems wrong that something people go through every day—privileged people, no less—would be so taxing so as to cause Shion's exhaustion. Working and shopping and cooking. These were the tasks of fortunate people, here outside the city.

You shake off your momentary confusion and focus instead on something tangible. Tangible and warm, and why aren't you touching him? The warmth of the earth and sun was pleasant, but the warmth of the person next to you is far greater. You reach forward and gently place your hand on his cheek, wondering if it will wake him up. It doesn't. His breathing remains the same, but after a few seconds, his lips turn up at the corners and he sighs, though it's barely audible.

You will never understand him, not with quantified data or attractive turns of phrase or anything else. But maybe you don't need to. You reach up to stroke his hair, and his smile grows wider. It only bothers you a little that you can feel yourself smiling in return. It wasn't a conscious choice, which is both interesting and slightly dismaying.

A few minutes pass, and you remove your hand. Before you've even had time to lament the sudden lack of warmth, a hand grabs your wrist and sleepy eyes open slowly to peer at you in the darkness.

Shion says "Nezumi" and your heart clenches. It's not from fear, or anticipation, or anything of the sort. You don't know what it is, and that annoys you.

"Did I wake you up?" Your voice sounds normal. That's good, at least.

"Mmm," Shion says vaguely, and he drops your wrist. "I don't know."

You're not sure how to reply to that, and his gaze is pinning you in place, which is ridiculous because you're not trapped, and then your heart clenches again—

He smiles, and then suddenly the underside of your chin is being tickled by white hair and you can feel his smile against your neck, and the skin that his mouth is touching burns in a way that is neither pleasurable nor uncomfortable.

He says nothing, so you don't either, but you do drape an arm around him and listen to his breathing, already beginning to slow again.

No, you will never understand him. How he can trust so openly, speak so candidly, allow his emotions to take over his rationality without even realizing it. But right now, it doesn't matter. You can swallow down your sarcastic remarks and you can hold him and you can have that terrifying thought in the back of your mind, that _if you left I don't know what I'd do_ thought, and it's okay for now.

Shion is sleeping once more, and a minute after you close your eyes, you are too.


End file.
